I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
My vagina is very pro this idea
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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