i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
