Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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