I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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