I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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