You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize