i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
dude. I can hear the air.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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