oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
