PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
