I would go down on you faster than GM stock
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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