I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
