It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
