I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
