quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We had to coat check the pizza.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
