Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize