I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
