I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
