she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
