its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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