Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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