I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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