We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
