I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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