When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
