Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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