then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
