Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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