He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize