My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
