well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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