it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
