But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We were destined to go to rehab together
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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