Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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