Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
