This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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