Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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