Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
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