We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
