Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
