He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
