she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
