I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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