he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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