I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
