If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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