There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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