doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I understand Curling. That high.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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