Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
