i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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