Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
