I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
