problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
