Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
