But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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