I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
