You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
