This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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