pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Terrible idea I love it
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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