The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
