I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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